M Unveils Despotic Squirrel Terrorists

I haven't written in a while. Why my nonexistent readers ask? It's a complex mixture of several things. Take one part lazy and add that to two parts lazy and a dash of uninspired and that pretty much sums it up.

To get the ball rolling again, I've decided to turn to the news.

Squirrels the New Terrorists?

Taken from the AP
An American Airlines flight made an unscheduled landing in Honolulu after pilots heard something skittering about in the wire-laden space over the cockpit. The airline blamed the emergency landing of the Tokyo-Dallas flight with 202 passengers on a stowaway squirrel.

"You do not want a varmint up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there," said John Hotard, spokesman for the Ft. Worth, Texas-based airline. Texas-based airline. He said pilots feared the animal would chewed through wiring or cause other problems.

"So, as a precaution, we diverted," Hotard said.

While the U.S. has been focusing its attention on obvious targets like Al Queda and Hezbollah, the Squirrel Nation has been furthering its despotic plan to overthrow the capitalist government in an attempt to weaken the human race as a whole. The eventual goal being world domination.

Historically known throughout the animal kingdom as communist extremists, the woodland creatures have been filtering propaganda into main stream U.S. culture for years in order to stay under the radar and operate without suspicion. Images positioning them as cute have been posited in all areas of human society and famous actors like Chip, Dale, Rocky the Flying Squirrel, along with that squirell who water skis have managed to only enhance their percieved, furry lovableness. They have also been able to avoid suspicion by building upon human fear of disease and proclaiming that any member of theirs caught is actually an anomaly of society and suffering from the so-called, mythical "rabies."

Excessive chattering was heard in Central Park this morning as the squirrels ready themselves for the media onslaught and political sparring with the Bush White House. The plot, foiled by the skilled post-9/11 training of the pilot, has been viewed as a clear indicator of new agressive push from within the Squirel Nation to make progress in their maniacal anti-homosapien campaign.

The White House has been in meetings all morning. The temperment on Capitol Hill is tense and there is talk of a possible pre-emptive strike.