M Questions Both Madison Avenue and Terrorists

Of my last two posts, one focused on the reprehensible and sometimes ambiguously racist strategies of ad executives and the other focused on terrorist squirrels (which, by the way nonexistent readers, I do not by any circumstances think terrorism is funny. I do however think that squirrels are hilarious). Now a new hybrid of commercialism and terrorism, commerterrorism, is being flouted throughout Buffalo, New York in a way that could only be defined as irresponsible fear mongering.


The new campaign for the Red Cross is meant to shock people into preparing for a terrorist attack. While I, being aware of the boy scout motto of always being prepared, think that this is all fine and dandy, what is not is the level of alarm this could cause. Someone like my mother, who ingest mass media and marketing like a juicy Big Mac, is sure to find this downright terrifying. Upon seeing this Billboard and realizing that she has only a few more years to live, my mother would most likely take immediate and drastic action by quitting her job and beginning to work exclusively on a bomb shelter. This would all be while calling me every five seconds to make sure I wasn't dead.

What's more terrifying is that they don't the oncoming doom somewhat ambiguos in that "You know you should prepare,because anything could happen-people get ran over by buses everyday" kind of way but give a specific date "November 9, 2009."

Why November 9, 2009? So that people can have a few years to get their survival kit in order? To let the fear build up and overflow into mass public riots? To give my mother time to harrass me while building her bomb shelter? Or perhaps, simply, to give the terrorist time to create a plan?

Is it just me or does this seem a tad bit irresponsible?

Photo courtesy of: www.BoingBoing,net

M Unveils Despotic Squirrel Terrorists

I haven't written in a while. Why my nonexistent readers ask? It's a complex mixture of several things. Take one part lazy and add that to two parts lazy and a dash of uninspired and that pretty much sums it up.

To get the ball rolling again, I've decided to turn to the news.

Squirrels the New Terrorists?

Taken from the AP
An American Airlines flight made an unscheduled landing in Honolulu after pilots heard something skittering about in the wire-laden space over the cockpit. The airline blamed the emergency landing of the Tokyo-Dallas flight with 202 passengers on a stowaway squirrel.

"You do not want a varmint up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there," said John Hotard, spokesman for the Ft. Worth, Texas-based airline. Texas-based airline. He said pilots feared the animal would chewed through wiring or cause other problems.

"So, as a precaution, we diverted," Hotard said.

While the U.S. has been focusing its attention on obvious targets like Al Queda and Hezbollah, the Squirrel Nation has been furthering its despotic plan to overthrow the capitalist government in an attempt to weaken the human race as a whole. The eventual goal being world domination.

Historically known throughout the animal kingdom as communist extremists, the woodland creatures have been filtering propaganda into main stream U.S. culture for years in order to stay under the radar and operate without suspicion. Images positioning them as cute have been posited in all areas of human society and famous actors like Chip, Dale, Rocky the Flying Squirrel, along with that squirell who water skis have managed to only enhance their percieved, furry lovableness. They have also been able to avoid suspicion by building upon human fear of disease and proclaiming that any member of theirs caught is actually an anomaly of society and suffering from the so-called, mythical "rabies."

Excessive chattering was heard in Central Park this morning as the squirrels ready themselves for the media onslaught and political sparring with the Bush White House. The plot, foiled by the skilled post-9/11 training of the pilot, has been viewed as a clear indicator of new agressive push from within the Squirel Nation to make progress in their maniacal anti-homosapien campaign.

The White House has been in meetings all morning. The temperment on Capitol Hill is tense and there is talk of a possible pre-emptive strike.

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